Pastor Mark Driscoll Says Masturbation Is A Homosexual Act
It’s time for all my straight male friends to come out of the closet! On more than one occasion my so called straight friends and I had open discussion about “spanking the monkey” and which is the best hand, the best location and the best time of day. Little did I know each of them was apparently committing acts of down right gayness! Love you guys, but I guess it’s time all ya’ll ditch those Carhartts and cheap beers and slap on a D&G sarong and join me in watching a musical whilst sipping a shaken martini…. as God intended us to be!
According to Mark Driscoll of the Mars Hill Church in Seattle, male masturbation without the presence of a wife is a gay act. Apparently it’s OK if your wife watches, and that is a key detail that makes you straight. Otherwise, you’re just a nelly princess in training…
“Pastor” Mark Driscoll says that men need to stop masturbating because it’s a kind of homosexuality. In a booklet titled Porn-Again Christian: A Frank Discussion on Pornography & Masturbation for God’s Men, Driscoll of the Seattle-based Mars Hill Church says, “First, masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexual activity, particularly if he’s watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body.”
Two questions come to mind for Pastor Driscoll….
1. My Psychology professor in college once said in a class of 300 students that 99% of men masturbate, and 1% lie… So Pastor Driscoll, using your standard, I guess that means you’re either a closet homosexual, or a liar… which is it?
2. If a single “straight” guy uses a pocket pussy to jerk off with- is it still a gay act or do plastic snatches make you straight too?
- Masturbation Is the New Gay (bilerico.com)
- More than just hairy palms, it’s gay! (queerlandia.com)
- Mark Driscoll on Pornography (purehopeblog.wordpress.com)
- Mars Hill Pastor Mark Driscoll: Mormonism is a cult (seattletimes.nwsource.com)